Rediscovering Doctor Who

Kam with Tardis

Kam with Tardis

My head is spinning like the TARDIS when it hurtles through time and space.

I have just watched the first 4 series and the 4 2008-2010 specials from years 2005 to 2010 of the revived Doctor Who series in just 1 month. My mind is rattling with the paradoxes of time, space, time locks and the last great Time War.

I finished watching “The End of Time part 2” yesterday. This is the New Year’s Day 2010 Doctor Who special which ends with the 10th doctor, played by David Tennant, regenerating into the 11th doctor, Matt Smith, and the TARDIS blows up around him.

In a way my head feels like it might explode too. I feel like I have been on a Doctor Who marathon, which of course I have. When he starts running sometimes he never stops. I feel like that myself. I’ve started so I must keep on going. Immerse myself further and deeper into the magical and exciting world of the Doctor, and escape the brutal truth of everything I am running away from within me.

No one can run forever though. Well, maybe the Doctor can. He’s been doing it for 50 years and there’s no stopping him. He has 2 hearts, however, and I only have one. Plus I’m really unfit. All the dramatic tension of the Last of the Time Lord’s recent adventures have helped me run away from facing my own inner conflicts, just at a time when I needed a new form of escape, a new drug to immerse myself in. Yet how much drama, excitement, world saving and adrenalin flow can one take? I only have one heart, and it’s telling me to stop and take a break.

Now seems like a good time to do that. A pit stop on my Doctor Who marathon. The marvellous 10th Doctor, played with such a wide range of emotions and breadth by David Tennant, is no more. I’ll take a week off, recharge my batteries (even the TARDIS needs recharging now and again in the rift in Cardiff), and begin a new journey with the 11th incarnation of the Doctor.

I’m really excited to see what Matt Smith does with the character. I have heard really good things about him. It wasn’t easy avoiding watching or reading about the 50th anniversary special last month. I’m glad I did avoid watching it though. Everything in the world of Doctor Who is connected, and it makes sense to watch the episodes in order.

I loved and really got used to David Tennant’s 10th doctor. His sleek, geek chic, uber-cool, witty charm mixed with suppressed emotional turmoil, rage, ruthlessness and loneliness, all coated in a veneer of fun-loving, childlike curiosity and hyper-activity, kept me engaged with a character whose greatest selling point is you never really now him. He doesn’t believe in violence, refuses to carry a gun, yet leaves a trail of death and destruction behind him. He’s full of life and wonder, yet also has a depressive side to him. He is one of fiction’s richest characters, emotionally and psychologically.

Yet the last few episodes of series 4 and the specials pulled his character far too deep into his melancholic, bitter side. It was great to see this exposed, and see the arrogant side of him come out in “The Waters of Mars”, where he starts to feel he was not just a tragic survivor of the Time War but it’s righteous victor. However a whole series exploring this unresolved inner conflict, the conflict he seems to always be running away from, would have taken a lot of the light-hearted fun out of the show. Emotional depth in TV is always a good thing, but it needs to be balanced with jelly beanesque escapism too. In short, I’m glad a new Doctor awaits me when I begin series 5 next week.

Once I finish watching all the episodes of the new revived series, I plan to go back and watch the old ones from 1963 onwards. I already devoured the brilliant Genesis of the Daleks 6 part serial in one night, my first time watching Tom Baker as the Doctor, with his Jelly Babies, long Rainbow scarf and wide googly eyes confronting Davros, my favourite Doctor Who villain.

I’ve been jotting down reams of notes about my experience of rediscovering Doctor Who last month. How it has really impacted me and made me feel a wide range of emotions. I plan to write these up as blog posts, but they need to be split up and edited. This post is my attempt at keeping things simple and concise (never easy for me). I always have a lot to say, probably because as a child no one really listened to me, and Doctor Who makes me think about even more subjects and themes to explore.

It has been more than just a TV show for me. In many ways it has been my salvation during a really stressful period of my life. People take drugs to numb their senses, the inner pain, and I needed a drug to replace my love of food (having gone on an strict elimination diet to combat my IBS-D). Most people drug themselves, though they don’t think they’re being drugged, with religion, consumerism/ materialism, alcohol, food addiction, sex addiction, addiction to narcotic drugs, extreme sports or adrenalin junkies. There are many forms of escapism from reality, usually a mix of things, and high octane adventuring through time and space is the Doctor’s preferred way to bury painful feelings. I’m not religious, I ‘m trying to move away from consumerism, and food just seems to disagree with me. I don’t really drink, never agreed with drugs, so TV and films are my main drug of choice now. I’m too cautious and anxious to actually go on real life high octane adventures, so I live through fictional adventures that distract me from more painful feelings deep inside.

Sometimes something comes along just when you need it. Having quit many of my past vices and emotional crutches and with an increasingly stressful real life, I needed something to fill the void of escapism within me. To pull me away from facing the fire of my inner conflict, and being consumed by it. The Tardis must have heard my unconscious SOS call. It came into my life at the right time.

I really am getting addicted to the world of Doctor Who. I’ve started reading The Doctor Who magazine and collecting all my bookmarked Whovian links on a Doctor Who page on my website Razaweb.com. I even find myself walking around the house with the 4 beats of the sound of drums pounding in my head! Don’t worry though, I won’t try and use an alien medical device to make everyone else in the world look and talk like me. I’m crazy but I’m not that crazy. 

I do feel rejuvenated in finding something I’m really into that I can also help me connect with other people, especially friends who I already feel I relate to the most. I’m not into sports or cars so that alienates me from most other guys. I am a geek at heart and rediscovering Doctor Who has helped me reconnect with the geek in me. That’s a long neglected side of me that I feel more comfortable embracing. I have always loved the wonder and excitement of the science fiction. It fires me up in a way I can engage with. In fact I owe much of my getting back into Doctor Who to 2 friends of mine. They started a Cricket and Doctor Who podcast this year, and although I’m still not into Cricket, they did make me think about going back and watching Doctor Who.

Anyway I plan to write up my notes on how I came to rediscover Doctor Who and how surprised I was at the revived show being as good as it is. Other posts will also review The End Of Time episodes, which I loved, if for nothing more than having Timothy Dalton (one of my favourite Bond’s) as a great villainous Time Lord President Rassilon and watching John Simm devouring a whole roast chicken with his bare hands

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